American Soccerball

You may have noticed my growing dislike for the Premier League - here's something I wrote for Sabotage Times suggesting a few alternatives for your football fix

Disillusioned With Football? Head Stateside, Try Soccer

Future Islands Obsession

I fully admit that I can get a bit obsessed about stuff. If I like something I tend to read up on it, find out more about it - whether it’s a film, football club or music. When I first got into hip hop it didn’t have the mainstream profile it has today so to find out more you had to dig deep. Obviously some of the subjects they rapped about were a mystery to a teenager living in what could never be described as a bustling metropolis. So I gleaned information wherever I could. That’s the way I learned what they were talking about – and more about the culture of hip hop. 

Well now I have a new obsession. If you somehow haven’t already seen it I urge you to check out this - Future Islands performing their new single Seasons (Waiting For You) on the Letterman show a few weeks back. 

The song is great – a driving New Order-ish bass and drum with synths and lyrics from the heart. But it is Sam Herring’s performance that has caused me to watch the clip more times than is probably healthy. As the band starts Herring starts moving. A captivating undulating movement that has been likened to those seen on the northern soul dancefloors but made me think of Twin Peaks. It’s kind of a like a dad dance infused with pure funk. And then he starts singing.

The emotion that comes through is electrifying. Reaching out for help, beating his chest, Herring pours the pain out in lyrics with almost interpretive actions. His soul is laid bare as he laments that “People change, but certain people never do”. The voice, that in the recorded version is quietly powerful, takes on a whole new level live as he emits guttural noises for some lines that sound like a death metal remix. 

I am glad to say this wasn’t a one off and that the new album is impressive throughout. I’ve also happy to report that the performance wasn’t a ‘what can I do on Letterman to get us noticed’ deal either. Herring sings from the heart and moves as if he can’t help himself whenever they gig – even if it’s just a record shop instore as in LA’s Amoeba in 2010. And in that instance he was still wearing a leg brace after damaging his ACL.

In a world of generic bands with an almost expected level of frontman swagger on show it is refreshing to discover that real front men don’t act a certain way because that’s what you do when you’re in a band but because they can’t help themselves.

Arctic Cup

The always brilliant Football Pink allowed me to write something about an imaginary football tournament. They seemed to like it. Here it is - Arctic Cup

Her

Here's a review of the new Spike Jonze film, Her that I wrote for the excellent Best For Film. Spoiler alert: I really liked it - Her

Not the Euro 2016 Draw

Inspired by a friend who moaned about the seeding policy for the draw for the qualification groups for the 2016 European Championships I decided to perform a little experiment.

Pre-draw admin

With 24 places available in the French tournament in two years time, it seems as if any of the top nations fail to qualify something cataclysmic will have to have occurred. With a total of 53 countries entering the competition - plus the holders France - it is a little strange that UEFA still don't trust the likes of Italy, Spain and Germany not to qualify at a canter. They still deemed it necessary to seed the best sides to make sure they didn't accidentally meet each other in qualification and ruin it for everyone when it comes to the finals.

The draw

With this in mind I decided to stage my own draw with no strings attached. I would pull the names out of the hat - or in this case an old German drinking vessel - and see what turned up. I, unlike UEFA, did nothing to stop the possibility of Spain and Gibraltar sharing the same group. I also didn't keep apart some of the bigger nations due to "television demands". But then I didn't need to keep my sponsors happy.

So, without further preamble, here are the nine groups. I now have to somehow think of a way to keep this strange experiment going all the way to Paris in 2016. Keeps me busy I suppose.

Group A
Norway
Germany
Poland
Wales
Cyprus
Albania

Group B
France
Ukraine
Bosnia and Herzegovina
Faroe Islands
Austria
Greece

Group C
Belgium
Montenegro
Macedonia
Moldova
Kazakhstan
Estonia

Group D
Armenia
Lithuania
Holland
Czech Republic
Croatia
Finland

Group E
Malta
Northern Ireland
Sweden
Israel
Andorra
San Marino

Group F
Azerbaijan
Portugal
Luxembourg
Gibraltar
Slovenia
Turkey

Group G
Switzerland
Slovakia
Latvia
Iceland
Scotland
Serbia

Group H
England
Belarus
Romania
Hungary
Bulgaria
Republic of Ireland

Group I
Italy
Denmark
Spain
Liechtenstein
Georgia
Russia

Keep up to date with any further developments on twitter with #AltEuro16

Mystic Dan

This is my latest piece for Stupid Americans FC. The site seems to have gone a bit quiet so I've added it here before my predictions are irrelevant

With the news that I am finally defeating the best minds that America can offer and am proudly sitting atop the Stupid Americans prediction league I thought I’d let the cascades of adulation go to my head and offer up a few more predictions for the coming months. You can accept these as fact. The table doesn’t lie.

1.  Manchester United will qualify for the Champions League. There is a lot of grumbling coming out of Old Trafford and some fans are questioning whether ‘The Chosen One’ should become ‘The Unemployed One’. Apart from the fact that United’s form has improved over the last few weeks, Man United just have too much experience. I’m not saying that there are not problems that the club have to face - and quickly - but I can see them limping over the line come May. A disappointment for the fans sure, and an unwanted qualifying round in next season’s Champions League, but qualification all the same. And what’s more they’ll do it at the expense of Liverpool. Which leads me onto…

2. Liverpool will have the top goal scorer in the league in the guise of the ever lovable Luis Suarez. But only qualifying for the Europa League will give the Uruguayan enough reason to head to sunnier climes. But for A LOT of cash. If this happens (and of course it will, I just said it would) it will be interesting to see how they spend the money.

3. Celtic and Rangers will win their respective leagues. Yeah, I know, hardly fucking Nostradamus with this one. But I predict them both to win without losing a single match. Even with the re-emergence of other clubs such as Dundee United that still paints a sorry picture for the standard of Scottish football.

4.  Brazil will win the World Cup. It should actually be a fairly open tournament with a number of sides able to feel pretty confident of their chances. Home field advantage will tell though. Look out for Uruguay and Colombia to perform well but fall foul of tough draws. The reign of Spain will end and the less said about England the better (hopefully the British press will heed this too).

5. And finally, someone with deep pockets and not much sense will spot the brilliance of my writing and offer to pay for an extended research trip studying the emergence of fan power and supporter-owned football clubs in America. Oh well, worth a go…

Football Food

Discovered an excellent new site yesterday that takes a look at a sorely under-reported part of the football experience - nonleaguechips.tumblr.com. Good work sir! Reminded me of days gone by when a colleague and I wrote a page for the Chesham United matchday programme rating half time burgers throughout the non league world under the nom de plume, Hat-trick Burger (a cunningly hilarious play on a former footballer's name I think you'll agree). Here's a piece I wrote about those times a while ago for Late Tackle magazine -